you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
