Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want to be your penis for a week.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
