he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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