Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
