Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
