Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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