Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
