i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
