just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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