do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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