So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
two words...techno handjob
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
