Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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