Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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