Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
