im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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