It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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