the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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