did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
