i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
