According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
