so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
