I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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