Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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