Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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