Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
