the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
