Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She bit a glass in half.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I had to cum in my sink.
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