whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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