How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
