Me too!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
