whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
