I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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