He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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