we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
