Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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