When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
