Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
