i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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