nut hugger
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
