haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
