Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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