Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
