It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
