I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
