giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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