And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
