I just cut my nipple shaving
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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