Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
