I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
