We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
