He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
